Jack Bauer Vs. Chuck Norris!

People have begun to play a drinking game called “Bauer Hour”, where you take a shot of Jack Daniels every time Jack kills someone. One person usually goes through 3 bottles an episode.

There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris’ neck into 24 pieces.

When Jack Bauer goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer once got into a fight, the event is commonly known as the Big Bang. Who won? Just ask yourself when was the last time you saw a new episode of Walker Texas Ranger?

Jack Bauer doesn’t follow protocol. Protocol follows Jack Bauer.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Jack Bauer wears aviator sunglasses as a courtesy to the Sun so it doesn’t have to look into his eyes.

On Jack Bauers Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependants.

If you ever tried to tell Jack Bauer to go to hell, the Devil would silence you before you finished the sentence.

Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist 12 miles away.

In the midst of war between the Titans and the Olympian Gods, Jack Bauer captured Atlas and forced him to hold up the world until he told him who was plotting against Zeus. After Atlas cracked, Jack rushed off to inform Zeus and on his way out said, “Don’t move until I get back.” Atlas is still waiting for Jack to get back. It is also a well known fact that earthquakes are caused by Atlas shaking with fear when he thinks Jack is coming back.

Jack bauer named his cat chuck Norris because it is a pussy

A guy who is just trying to enjoy life!

19 Comments

  1. lool they cracked me up!

    I loved Chuck Norris in those Kung Fu programmes he did way back in the day!

    Jack aint got shit on him :P

  2. Dont fuck with Jack! Aint no one gonna fuck with Jack!

  3. I wouldn’t fuck him if he was the last man on earth! I’d rather become lesbian that go near him hehehehehe

  4. ok that was where I wasnt going! Dont mess with Jack!

  6. lol tooooo funny
    congrats on your blog

  7. Thanks Mark! hehehehe
    Im a dedicated fan of Jack! hehehehe

  8. Yazeed

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    qaweeya :)

  10. dedicated fan? I mean come onnnnn just look at him!

  11. Its not the way the guy looks (just a like a girl to think that!!!).. its about his actions! He sacrificed his friends, his family, and himself to save his country! And he did it in a way no man could!!!!! hehehehe

  12. Did I mention looks! He’s selfish…. who gives a toot about having to save the country! Will he ever get recognition for it?

    and he looks like he hasn’t had a shower in a while… so he’d probably kill everyone with his B.O!

  13. Did I mention that I shall now shoot you!!! lol!

  14. hey you have to be nice to me! I designed your site AND made u famous :P

    You owe me busta hehehe

    la2 im just joking! You know I got love 4 ya.. in a pure innocent sisterly way :P

  15. lol!!

    Just bow down to Jack! Thats all you need to do!!!

  18. Nomæd

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    Jack Bauer doesn’t go shopping, shopping comes to Jack.

  19. cyprus

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    chuck norris doesnt need a door mat he’s got jack bauer

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